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  Date: May 26, 2016

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Then I saw a message from an unknown number which goes thus:

‘I was peeping at you 4 window, love the way you sexed that girl…. And pls can we talk??’

I quickly dial the number only to see that It was a familiar voice that I cannot decode….

Voice: champion!!!

Me: na me be dat o…. Who’s this pls?

Voice: and later on, you go dey call yourself Alfa…

See as you Rape-F**K that girl……

Me: who’s this please!!!

Voice: meet me at Adent hotel by 6pm tomorrow…

Me: na moses dem give 10 commandment to, you no fit command me… Who are you? Simple!!!

Voice: forget then, I’m coming over to ur house tonight to tell Alhaji what you did with that innocent girl…

Me: and thunder go fire you if u no come!

Voice: you think I’m joking with you abi? (Cuts the phone)

Me: temi bami…. I then summon the courage to call back and beg cos I know Alhaji go kill me if he hear this…

I called for 4 times, that crazy winch never pick up or called back…

That night when I went out, I hop into the shop to eat anything eatable and never listen to any story….

As I was eating, my phone rang.. It was Zinat…

Zinat: hi dear

Me: yes love

Zinat: hope you didn’t forget about the birthday sha?

Me: how will I?

Zinat: trust you… (Blow kisses)

Me: yes ma…. Is that why you called?

Zinat: of course, and send me those link you said you wanted to send to me…

Me: didn’t remember anything of that o, which link?

Zinat: where to download your songs!!

Me: okay!!! (Cuts the phone) I quickly enter the message log and send all.

* for jaye orimi
* for the linez of
* for u 4got
* for R A P
* for Bam

Fast Forward to 4 months time….

The birthday went well that I was mistaken as the celebrant’s boyfriend…. The funniest part is that

Bimbo didn’t showed up there… As I got home, ‘Gran gran gran’ my phone rang, the caller was bimbo….

Bimbo: hello dear

Me: howfar na?

Bimbo: I’m not fine o, kasala don burst o!!!

Me: kilo shele???

Bimbo: I don get pregnant o…

Me: sheybi u b big girl, shey big girl do get
pregnant ni???

Bimbo: I’m serious o….

Me: (heart beating but I use courage pick am) ehn, congratulations then… And who’s the baby’s father?

Bimbo: you!!

Me: (scared) me!!! no prob den, pack ur load and Çome my house then…

Bimbo: (laughing) I taught you’ll be scared ni,
come and open your gate for me, I’m outside..

Me: (relieved) ok, I’m coming… As I opened the gate, something happened….
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To Be Continued…

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