I was on my way back home the day after I
delivered Alhaji’s (my dad) message to Amoo
when I saw those ladies that called me the other time, to my surprise I didn’t know any of them.
I greeted them and they were like ‘so, you don’t know us again??
Me: I don’t o
Lady A: we were the one that took pix with you at elegant hotel!!!
Me: I’m sorry, I still can’t remember u people o.
B: you don’t need to, anyway my name is zinat
A: they call me shally dee but my real name is shalewa…
D: my own name is bimbo
Me: you’ve all got a nice name and pls what can I do for you o
Zinat: actually we saw how you performed at that show at elegant and we loved it, so we decided to invite you to a birthday!
Me: and pls who is the person celebrating the birthday?
Me: wow!!! you know what? I’m busy right now, let me give you my phone number and pls give me a call!!!
Bimbo gave me a phone of which I don’t know how to operate, I returned the phone to her by telling her to type it that I’m gonna call it for her 0 8 1 39 47 04 20…. I said,
We’ll give you a call as soon as possible….
Bye bye, they said…
So, as I was going home na so I dey remember those babes, lemme describe them to u *Zinat is short, dark with a very large bossom and nice backup…
*Shalewa’s complexion was light, her bossom was not that plentiful, her height made sense, (in short she looked like fathia balogun) *Bimbo was chocolate, not that fat but huge (if u know wetin farmers do refer to as Bumper harvest, she’s the type) she’s tall, not that tall o, she carry back(massive type), she carry front(she really tried for the front), everything just gather for there and *Keji is light with full and massive chest that I’m sure any guy that sU-Ck am will suffocate, her behind is good one and have the same height as bimbo….
As I got home, na those babes matter I still dey carry for head as I fell into trouble…
Alhaji: where is that Fawaz???
My bro: I donno where e dey o Na so I sneak out of the house cos I know that I’m in dead soup, then I summon the courage to go back inside.. As I open the gate, na so I saw
something wey shock me…..
Alhaji called me in the morning to clean his shoes and wash his car, as I wan lay hand on the shoe na so he called me back to quickly go to Amoo’s (alhaji’s friend) house to collect some money from the man…
I didn’t know that I’ve spent up to 40 minutes in the place that I can use only 2mins, Due to those girls I met on my way and the foolish thought I was thinking for my room…
The thing that shocked me was that the shoe he said I should clean was soaked in water by my step mother’s son, I was like is this boy mad or crazy???
As I wan open door to Alhajiz sitting room, I saw alhaji at my back with a Koboko, I was like ‘why do I answer these girls now, see what they brought me into’ Go and kneel down in my room Alhaji said with a
lion face… I’m sorry was what I said before I saw myself in an ocean of slap….
Alhaji: the way I will beat you today, you’ll never forget it
Me: (weeping and rubbing my two hands
together to plead for mercy)
Alhaji: you said u no go listen to me abi, I will kill you today Na only cry I dey cry as I knelt down in his room, na so he lie down for bed….
For like an hour I was still on my kneel, na so I tap him for leg, to my surprise…. Alhaji don
sleep!!! Which kind rubbish be this was what came to my mind, na so I dash out of his room…..
I was really angry that I shouted at my mother when she called me…
As I sidon for one corner in my room, I brought out my phones out of where I put them….
I saw some missed calls on my phones….
On the first phone 12 missed calls- Alhaji(when he sent me on errand)
8 missed calls -Queen(8minutes ago) On the second phone 2 missed calls -Alhaji(long ago)
1missed calls -Mum( an hour ago) 4 missed calls -An unknown glo number(22 mis
ago) 2 missed calls -An unknown mtn num( 3 mins ago)
I decided to go out to my mum shop to collect recharge card on credit,
Me: abeg, gimme mtn 100
Mum: sheybi na me u dey shout at abi???
Me: pls, no mind me! Na dat your husband wey dey vex me
Mum: (hissed and gave me the card) and where is the money
Me: we go see later na I ran inside my room and as I carry my phone, I saw another 2 missed calls from that mtn unknown number… As I was loading the recharge
cards, na so the num come call again
Voice: its that iTSF
Voice: are you there??
Voice: you aint serious
Me: abeg who is this I’m speaking with???
Voice: who did u gave your num to this
Me: you see that’s why people fail WAEC, what’s your name???
Voice: anyway sweetheart, I’m Zinat
Me: I’m sorry pls, I donno u were d one.
Zinat: apology accepted
Me: let me call you back..
Zinat: okay (ends the call) Chai! Why am I this foolish??? That I said I will call her back… Questioning myself…
As I load the recharge card I bought, na so the glo num call enta my phone
Voice: its me bimbo that collected your num this morning
Me: ah ah, okay… And pls why is your voice this sweet??
Bimbo: you don add comedy to your song abi???
Me: no mind me jor
Bimbo: and why don’t you pick up your call the other time
Me: I was playing with my dad in his room, that’s why ann I’m not with my phone!!!
Bimbo: hmm hmmm, daddy’s pet
Me: thanks o!!! You know what I will call you back now!!! Edited the num and saved Zinat with zinats and Bimbo with bimbos….
I then dialed my queen’s num, she didn’t even allow it to ring before picking it!!!
Me: iyawo (wife) broda fawaz, how far???
Queen: I’m good As I wan talk, na so I saw my door opened with Alhaji and his koboko for hand for my door starring at me.
To Be Continued…
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